Introducing an exciting new feature: audio versions of Fox News articles! We’re thrilled to bring you this update, just in time for the end of the week. So hold on a little longer, because it’s almost Friday! And what better way to kick off the weekend than with RedMeat Thursday?
[Background Song: Take your world view, don’t shake it up. Step into our bubble and turn Fox News up! It’s RedMeat Thursday, serving up content you love. It’s RedMeat Thursday because you agree with us. It’s RedMeat Thursday, so kiss my ***. If you’re not a fan of our politics, well, that just means you’re a little *****!]
I asked Jean to put together something special for today, and boy did he deliver. We’ve got some fascinating news for you. Brace yourself. An AI-driven facial recognition study conducted in Denmark has revealed an interesting correlation between a person’s face and their political leanings. Believe it or not, AI can now predict someone’s political affiliation with an impressive 61% accuracy, solely based on their facial features. Forget the old method of judging based on *** size, this is far more reliable. And here’s the kicker: the study found that right-wingers tend to be hotter. Yes, you heard that right. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but overall, the right-wingers bring up the attractiveness curve. Check out our Fox News poll on artificial intelligence.
Now, let’s dive into the details. Those Danish scientists (not to be confused with the pastries) fed 3,200 photos of political candidates into their AI tool to analyze their emotional states. Here’s what they discovered: a whopping 80% of the photos displayed happy expressions, but it was the conservative female politicians who appeared even happier and more attractive than their liberal counterparts. Why? Well, there could be various reasons. Perhaps conservatives are less surrounded by gloom and doom, allowing them to radiate happiness. Maybe it’s easier to strut in heels when you don’t have cloven hooves. And hey, regular bathing probably helps too. But here’s something interesting: previous research has also shown a link between attractiveness and conservatism. So, it’s no surprise that Dana Perino, for example, is a lovely sight to behold. And that’s without makeup! Check out her dolled-up look.
Now, let’s ponder why conservatives seem to be hotter. Could it be that liberal women are truly less attractive than conservative women? Is that why they insist on wearing masks even while driving alone in their tiny cars? Or maybe it’s because they adopt an ideology of hopelessness, which leads to anger and ultimately detracts from their natural beauty. It’s hard to embrace beauty when those around you label any attention received as objectification. The so-called “male gaze” makes it difficult for them to appreciate their own beauty. So instead, they resort to drastic measures like hair dye, piercings, and consuming cheap frozen pizza. This could explain the unflattering mugshots of some female Antifa members. They weren’t always that way, you know. Thank goodness I distanced myself from them before they discovered MSNBC. They try to portray the opposite of hotness as a political statement, and it’s not a look you’d want to sit next to on a bus.
On the other hand, the study also found that left-leaning men tend to have more neutral expressions compared to their conservative counterparts. They don’t appear as happy. But can you blame them? It’s tough to be joyful when your manliness is questioned and you’re forced to attend drag queen story hour at the library. Left-leaning men often hide their emotions well, perhaps honing their poker faces over time. After all, a successful con man never lets their true feelings show. And if you claim to be a liberal man, you’ll need to master the art of lying. “Oh yes, please dye your hair purple for Juneteenth,” “Sarah Silverman is hilarious,” “Wow, this kale tastes amazing!” Constant lies naturally lead to a perpetually ominous expression, as if they’re facing someone brandishing a crucifix, but it’s just a facade.
Now, let’s consider the implications of this AI technology. If it’s capable of accurately identifying someone’s political leanings based on a single photo, what’s next? Knowing the left, they might use this technology to keep tabs on conservatives. Many journalists already relish in digging through the personal lives of anyone who criticizes a Democrat. They won’t hesitate to cancel those who stand in the way of their progressive agenda, even if it means creating a miserable society. So, who knows what’s on the horizon? Identifying happy individuals and letting AI take over from there could be the next step.
And that wraps up today’s RedMeat Thursday. But before we go, remember to tune in to Gutfeld! with your host Greg Gutfeld, weeknights at 11 PM-12 AM/ET. He’s also the co-host of the highest-rated program on cable news, The Five, weekdays at 5-6 PM/ET. Thanks for joining us, and have a fantastic day!
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