Among the numerous significant headlines surrounding former US President Donald Trump this week, there was one peculiar incident that caught my attention. It involved the renowned rocker Rod Stewart and his wife Penny Lancaster. In a recent interview with Scottish Field, Stewart revealed that Lancaster had prohibited him from spending time with Trump. Despite their past close relationship as neighbors in Palm Beach, Florida, where Stewart would attend Trump’s parties and even perform at his casinos, Lancaster decided to sever their ties. Her reason? She deemed Trump’s derogatory comments about women to be disgraceful.
In my mind, I imagine Stewart and Lancaster in their lavish mansion, with Rod looking perplexed as he sits in one of their many ornate chairs around their grand dining table. Meanwhile, Penny sits beside him with a notepad, scribbling down her priorities. Perhaps she crosses out the words “hot legs” and replaces them with “promoting inclusivity for women.” Although this is mere speculation on my part, I propose that Lancaster didn’t actually ban Stewart from associating with Trump. Instead, it’s a classic case of what I call “spousal cover,” where one fabricates their partner’s disapproval rather than admitting their own lack of interest.
Spousal cover can be an effective technique, as I’ve experienced since I recently got married. Even though my first use of it was accidental when religious preachers knocked on my door, it worked like a charm. When they invited me to a meeting, I instinctively responded with, “Oh, my husband wouldn’t be pleased with that.” Luckily, they understood and left without any further awkwardness. I’ve since employed spousal cover in various situations, using it to deflect unwanted sales pitches. Whether it’s a car, a blender, or a bra, no one ever questions further when you mention that your husband already possesses it. I’m confident my husband has also used me as an excuse to wiggle out of obligatory social engagements. I don’t mind, though; I consider it one of the advantages of a committed relationship. While shared bills and true love are excellent, having an infallible card to politely decline offers is invaluable.
However, spousal cover should be approached with caution. It perpetuates outdated stereotypes about controlling partners and can lead to long-term issues. It’s one thing to tell a white lie to protect the feelings of someone harmless, but it’s entirely different when it means not standing up to someone genuinely harmful, potentially even enabling their behavior. In Stewart’s case, I believe Lancaster’s intervention may have been a blessing, particularly in light of the recent jury verdict branding Trump as a sexual predator. This side story among the lives of the rich and famous serves as a lesson for Stewart and anyone who maintains friendships with individuals they suspect of unethical conduct. Although Stewart once sang “I don’t want to talk about it,” it’s crucial to recognize that when it comes to confronting bullies and the morally indefensible, speaking up is our responsibility.
Coco Khan, the writer of this article, is the commissioning editor for Guardian B2B and a writer. She co-hosts the politics podcast Pod Save the UK. If you have any thoughts or opinions on the issues discussed in this article, you can submit a response of up to 300 words via email for consideration in our letters section.
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